Don't Let It Die
Don't Let It DieEveryone has a dream, Don't Let It Die!!!
Everyone has a dream. As a child we all had plans of what we were going to be when we grew up. I recall listening in school, to students say they wanted to be everything from doctors, lawyers to rock stars and artists. I always loved photography, and was always a nature nut. I'd macro the life out of the little lady bugs, worms and house flies. Sometimes though, in the midst of dreaming, life throws us curve balls.
I met my High School sweetheart in grade 10, and fell completely in love but I made some choices that left me a teenage mom at 17 struggling to simply get my high school diploma. I inherited some grit and determination trait from my parents and despite leaving my baby crying in the morning while I stepped on that bus with tears streaming down my face... I did it! I graduated with pride.
I got married and 7 kids later I had pushed my dreams aside to completely focus on being the best housewife and mom I could be. My husband had a great job so I was fortunate to be able to be home with my kids and devote all my time and life to them. I loved it, but the dream of being a photographer was always there. I would practice taking pictures of my kids, and for the longest time I'm sure the Facebook world was wishing I would just put that camera down. There were tons of pictures of me saying how adorable my daughter looked in my shoes, or how proud my son was of his first fish. I was pretty post happy but that was my life! My family and my photography always came first.
In March of 2013, my world fell apart when my marriage of 16 years ended. It was like the life was sucked out of me. I couldn't eat, sleep and spent a lot of days crying on my couch. One day my daughter, who was 7 at the time, came down the stairs as I as laying on the couch. She walked over to me and patted me on the back, walked over to the window, yanked open the curtains and said "Mom!! Look, it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and we should be outside playing”...
I am not certain what happened in that moment but it was like her words just spoke to me. I realized the time I was losing with them by feeling sorry for myself. That was time I could never get back. I got up, got dressed and we went outside.
We ran around our yard chasing each other. I had tears streaming down my face but not from being sad anymore, it was tears of thankfulness that I was so blessed with these children who needed a mama that could be there for them.
I made it a point from that day on to only improve and not waste any moments. I've moved us out of our old house that held many haunting memories, into a big house where I can have my own studio, and finally pursue my dreams.
I didn't want to be the single mom on social assistance and I wanted to teach my children that you don't give up....EVER...No matter what life hands to you! You don't have to give up on what is a part of you. If you have a dream, you go for it, and pursue it.
Don't get me wrong, life isn't always a picnic and we have our struggles. I still have days where I feel like I could sob my eyes out in the corner curled up in the fetal position. I also have days of pride and joy which far outweigh the bad days. My kids are watching their mom fight all alone against all odds against criticism and doubt by others. Watching me overcome every hurdle even if it is with tears streaming down my face some days. I am determined and doing it and I won't let them see less of me.
Photography is my dream, my children are my passion. They deserve the best life I can offer them and they deserve a happy mom. It's not all about the housework and homework, kissing bo boo's and mending broken hearts. It's about showing them that they have a place in this world and there is nothing that can stop them if they believe in themselves.
Most days are spent praying "Thank you God for your blessings" while other days are spent praying "it's me again God, I could really use your help right now" God has always provided for us and seen us through. He has guarded my heart from negativity, and protected my mind from self doubt. He created each of us with a purpose and dream that we are to live out in the best way possible. It's never too late to start new. It wont always be easy, but I promise you, it's worth it. Pursue your passion and Dare to live your dream.
Keywords: Broken, Children, Dreamer, Dreams, Forgotten, Kids, Life, Mother, Photographer, Rebuild, Restart, Restoration, never to late
This auntie Jen, is beautiful <3 I am so proud of what you have over come. You haven't let anything take you down. Your are a VERY strong women and I am extremely happy to call you my aunt. You have the kindest heart and soul I have ever met. Keep on keeping on. I love you Jen. <3
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