Learning To Love Ourselves

Self love is a beautiful thing and something a lot of us lack. The world we live in, portrays it's own image through the media, even children's toys suggest that the "perfect" lady, is slim, blonde and beautiful.  Is beauty really only appearance? Don't get me wrong, all of us desire the perfect body, face, and hair.  How often are we so focused on the outer flaws, that we never ask "How perfect is my heart"

 For starters, I don't believe anyone is perfect. Everyone has flaws, makes mistakes, and finds something about themselves that they don't like, even if they are being praised for being "flawless".

The definition of perfect is: having no mistakes or flaws, being completely correct or accurate, having all the qualities you desire in that person, situation, etc.

As much as we would all like to think we are perfect, not one of us is completely flawless, accurate or correct, nor do we have all the qualities we want. The sad part is, these feelings of what "perfection" is, are not just being passed on to the average mom, the well dressed career woman, even Grandma who hates her silver highlights. It's being passed to our children. I have watched my 7 year old (who is truly a diva and loves fashion) take an outfit off, because it makes her look fat. How heartbreaking it is for a mom to witness that at such a young age. Yet when asked why I changed an outfit, when my kids thought it looked good, my response was "I thought it made me look fat"...I am guilty of teaching my children MY definition of fat. I'm not huge, nor a stick, but in my mind, I was "fat". Now no matter how much they praised me, and said, "But mom, you're beautiful, you looked so good in that", it didn't change my mind. My point in sharing that, is to say, what one person thinks is beautiful, another person may not. We are all unique individuals. We have our own taste, preferences and things we find appealing and not appealing. 

For example, I met a lady once. A curvy lady, who others defined her as "out there" She wore the blue eye make up clear up to her eyebrows like Mimi, off the "Drew Carey Show".....Everyone's first reaction when seeing her, with her bright clothes, big heels, and mile high bleach blonde hair, was "whooooa, she needs to calm it down". What we didn't know, and I only found out because I looked beyond what I thought was a whole lot of crazy, was that she has a sweet but broken spirit, because of things that had happened to her in her past. Horrible things that would break most people. Yet she smiled. The makeup, hair, heels and flashy clothes were her protective covering. In her mind, she felt that if she could attract peoples attention to all the "bling", no one would see her shattered heart. If I chose to judge her based on what others said, and on my first reaction, I would have missed out on meeting one of the most courageous, strong, BEAUTIFUL, kindest souls, I could ever be blessed to meet.

Perhaps we all need to take a step back, look in the mirror, and find our beauty within our hearts, so we are able to find it in others.

The definition of beautiful;  having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech.

Beauty is attainable, Perfection is not.

Let go of anything that darkens your heart, or causes you to feel "not good enough." Find the beauty in everyone, and in every situation as hard as it may be. Beauty is NOT perfection. It's letting the light that God gave you, shine from the inside out and learning to love yourself for who you are. Does that mean sit on the couch and eat a bag of chips, because you think your fat anyway, so your just going to love all the extra padding you have. NO! It means improving what you are not happy with, it means being the best you that you can be, in mind, body and spirit and being Christ-like. Not without fault, because we will all fail, but accepting our failures, brushing ourselves off, and trying again.

We were all created equal in God's eyes, and we need to love ourselves despite what others think, just as God loves us. We need to let our light shine out of our smiles, and pass it on to those we meet. Choose positive thoughts, take back the shine that others may have tried to take from you, It's yours to own.  When you start that little flicker of a spark, it will ignite into a flame, and the world will see it. God loves you, so love who you are :)